A classic study highlighted recently by Psychology Today provides bedrock insights into some of the main reasons people divorce. Although the study is more than 20 years old, it continues to be influential and is still relevant today.
In 1997, researchers collected more than a decade’s worth of data from thousands of couples, some of whom divorced. From this data, the researchers came up with six main causes of divorce.
Key Causes of Marital Breakdown
- Infidelity: Cheating can devastate trust and emotional security in a marriage. From a legal perspective, infidelity can also impact divorce proceedings. In North Carolina, for example, cheating spouses are generally required to pay alimony.
- Financial irresponsibility: Disagreements over finances can create deep rifts. Financial strain can lead not only to emotional stress but also to a breakdown of trust.
- Substance abuse: Addiction can cause significant harm to marital dynamics, leading to safety and trust issues that are often difficult to reconcile.
- Jealousy: This emotional challenge can lead to controlling behaviors and mistrust.
- Mood instability: Emotional volatility can create a hostile home environment.
- Annoying habits: While seemingly minor, accumulated grievances about a partner’s habits can lead to irreparable marital rifts
Two Ways to Approach These Challenges
Communication and counseling: If you are considering divorce, you may have already tried communication and counseling – or your spouse may have refused to participate in counseling. It can be extremely frustrating to feel like you’re the only one trying to save your marriage. Or, you may have concluded the marriage is over and no amount of counseling could help. Nevertheless, consider counseling for all involved, including your children. If you do decide to divorce, having counseling available can help you and everyone in the family process their emotions.
Legal advice: Consult with a lawyer to understand what to expect if you do divorce. You can ask questions like how long it will take, how much it will cost and how you might fairly divide your assets and your time with your children. Getting straight answers is well worth a few hundred dollars.
Final Thoughts
Divorce should never be a spontaneous decision, especially when children are involved. Understanding the root causes of marital strife can help you make an informed decision about whether to work through these challenges or part ways as amicably as possible.
- Consider all factors and options before deciding.
- Seek professional help from counselors and legal advisors.
- Focus on long-term well-being and happiness for all involved.
Divorce is sometimes the best way forward, but it’s crucial to approach it thoughtfully. Once you have made your decision, be sure to work with a compassionate, experienced divorce attorney.
