When you got married, you vowed to stay together for better or for worse. You may have envisioned standing side by side as life hurled its problems your way. But when “worse” came along, it came from the inside.
This is a common time of year for people to be considering divorce. The stress of the holidays, financial stressors, lack of togetherness or other issues come up this time of year. It can be too much for some people.
What are some of the most common reasons people get divorced? One family law attorney and a psychologist weighed in to Women’s Health magazine on some of the top reasons they see;
- Difficulty communicating. This is a core issue for most marriages. Instead of realistically solving problems, you find yourself stuck in unproductive arguments and silences.
- Lack of emotional support. One or both partners feels disrespected or undermined, or like they’re not a priority in the marriage. It’s hard to survive in a relationship with no empathy or compassion.
- Lack of physical intimacy. More than just a dry spell, you find yourself physically alone in the marriage for a long time. This can take its toll on commitment.
- Feeling alone in what should be a partnership. You feel misunderstood or unheard altogether. You feel disconnected and lonely.
- Lack of readiness for marriage. Many people find they weren’t fully ready for the challenges of marriage. They later learn they have differing values or a lack of trust.
- A spouse’s addiction. About a third of divorcing people cite substance abuse or addiction as a factor in their divorce. This can involve a partner who is emotionally unavailable, who won’t change, or who is a physical or emotional threat.
- Domestic abuse, including emotional abuse. About a quarter of those who get divorces cites emotional or physical harm as a reason for divorce.
- Infidelity. An affair often feels like the ultimate betrayal. It’s possible to overcome, but many people simply cannot make their way after the trust is gone.
- Financial stress. Whether you’re going through a hard time or your spouse or have long-term disagreements about spending and saving, it can put a lot of strain on your relationship.
- Lost sense of self. Have you been sacrificing your wants and needs for the marriage and your family? You may have become lost in a role, or you might feel no one sees you as an individual anymore. This can make you want out.
These are many of the underlying factors when two people come to the conclusion that they don’t love each other anymore. Do any of these factors apply to your marriage?